Tuxedo Tag
The Catholic schoolgirl on the number 2declares I look like Uncle Penneybags,Monopoly! she yells. Her friends in blueSt. Michaels uniforms endorse the tag.It happens when I shuttle in the tux,my...
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I never played monopoly, but I enjoyed this a lot. I particularly love the "automatic swish."Would the first verse work better with verbs in present tense?Just a thought.
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I agree with Gail on all points and, in particular, that the first stanza would work better if you put it in present tense, to match the remainder of the sonnet.Unusual sonnet form. Does it have a...
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Hi Rick - I like this one. I wondered if the repeat of 'Catholic' near the end is necessary. Maybe there's a missed chance for a new revelation there. - Dave
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Thanks folks,Gail et al--I adjusted it for tense--which is something I considered doing, but originally decided to leave the first stanza in past tense as a story the narrator is telling you, after...
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I missed reading this before you changed the tenses... so I'm not really sure what the perceived problem was--I think the whole thing would work in past tense, particularly if the last line was...
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Rick,I do have a problem with this one, but since nobody else has mentioned it, it seems to be a personal quirk. I have played Monopoly, but just can't see that 'Go to jail' is esprit d'escalier--the...
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I did see that film! What a living hell!~,:^) I guess the "Go to Jail" isn't meant to be all that devistating--uniformed Catholic shool girls are basically grade school kids. It evokes "go to hell,"...
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{it's the worst thing that can happen to you in Monopoly,}No, no, no - landing on a hotel on Mayfair that belongs to someone else is MUCH WORSE! - D
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I like this, Rick!I'm not too happy about the "bags" and "tag" rhyme when all the other rhymes are true.I think the couplet's a bit weak. I appreciate that the heightened language of "impious affront"...
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